Saturday, March 23, 2013

Oh Tracy. Really.

At times in my life I have felt freakishly healthy.
Getting pregnant in my mid-forties only bolstered my confidence in that regard.
When the doctor asked, "And are you healthy?"
I answered flippantly,
"Oh yes. How else do you think I got in this......predicament?"
(A welcome predicament, as it turned out).

So when we creaked back from Georgia, and my sciatica and shoulder pain
became intolerable,
I hied myself to the chiropractor, my sister-in-law the PTA, and my good friend the other PTA.
I need my body to work,
in order to keep up with this loaf of a baby.

And somewhere along the way,
my sister suggested (casually, cheerfully)
that I try Tracy Anderson's mat workout video.

The picture (above) shows my clutching the chair, beginning the leg workout.
I'm not sure why I think I'll be able to do this part,
since the hamstring stretches didn't go so well.
The reps are random.
She seems to prefer to mix it up,
going to roughly 25 on the most impossible ones.
I stop at ten.
Ten is a nice number.
Ten leaves me out of breath and in a fair amount of discomfort.

Here's Tracy: on the standing ab workout:

"You will get good at these.
They take some time though."

All while moving her abs in complicated maneuvers that I don't even try to replicate.

I just close my eyes.

For most of that first workout, my eyes are shut.
It's too discouraging to watch what she can do,
and hear her perky, fit-sounding voice saying things like,

"I've designed this arm workout to make your arms as tiny as possible.
You have to really control your arms.....
You're going to go through a period of time when you don't think you can hold your arms out any longer....
You really can.
You really must."


I don't think so, Tracy.
Eyes closed, I drop my arms whenever I feel like it.
Which is all the time.
And they still hurt.

After the arms, Tracy does arms with weights.

Then the floor ab workout.

I haven't gotten that far.

I do about a third of the reps,
and I stop about half-way through the video. (The baby needs to nurse!  Best excuse ever).
Most of my workout has consisted of walking in place, eyes closed.

Then I'm starving.
I need chocolate cake.

At the end of the workout,
the part I've only seen because my daughter does the whole thing,
Tracy says confidently,

"I'm really proud of you.
You did really great work.
Keep doing it! Keep it up!"

So innocent of her.
But I sort of believe her.
I did really great work!
I moved my aching body.
I got off the couch!

And now I'm going upstairs
to hunt for chocolate.

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