Renew My Home: Loss and Gain

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Loss and Gain

This week has been full of strong emotions, silence, stories and tears. Nate's dad, Herb, passed from this life to the next on Tuesday, November 5th. Suddenly the illness and the difficulties of the last few years are over. We simply remember the way he used to be, the energy and drive he had, the love he gave.

I am finding it's true that the words, "I am so sorry for your loss" are immensely comforting.

Loss. It's a sad word. It means that there was something beautiful to lose.

For that we are grateful.

My husband and his mom agreed that Nate should build his dad's casket. There wasn't much time. It needed to be finished by this afternoon.

While he worked, he listened to "Love and War and the Sea in Between," Josh Garrels' most recent release. The music played loudly, the bandsaw growled along, and my talented husband blessed his father with a final gift.

Nate and Malachi

A father's love. "For he himself is our peace." (Eph. 2:14)

A son's love.

Hard-working hands, just like his dad's.

Grampa with two of his beloved grandchildren, June 2011.

I'll say this. Life is too short to waste on meanness. This week we've all been gentle with each other. It's been easy to be kind, even though we're tired and sad. The gentleness reminds us of Nate's dad. It's like a parting gift from him.

Here's an epic song. Perfect Christmas gift, by the way.

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2 comments:

JaneNovember 7, 2013 at 4:13 PM
this is the first time I have personally heard of a son making his father's casket. I am in tears. It is very moving. Thank you for sharing your loss and your joys. I am sure you know that Josh Garrels is Michelle Ramsdale's hubby, right? You are blessed. Love and prayers, Jane
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julie @ shorts and longsNovember 7, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Wow, this is precious. What a brave and loving son to give that last gift. Prayers and hugs to you all.
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Hush

"Can we say 'Hush' to ourselves? Can we command our thoughts? I believe we can. God has given us the power to close the shutter of our minds upon hurtful, weakening thoughts. He has provided all manner of shutters. A book that swings us off ourselves and into another world is a very good shutter; a song set to music; beauty; the dear love of those who love us. Above all, there is this: look at Calvary. Look steadfastly. Take time to look and all within you will be hushed, for power streams forth from Calvary. We need never know defeat." (Amy Carmichael)

A Prayer (Not by Joel Osteen)

"Take from me, Oh Lord, that self-pity which love of myself so readily produces, and from the frustration of not succeeding in the world as I would naturally desire, for these have no regard for your glory. Rather, create in me a sorrow that is conformable to Your own. Let my pains rather express the happy condition of my conversion and salvation. Let me no longer wish for health or life, but to spend it and end it for You, with You, and in You. I pray neither for health nor sickness, life nor death. Rather I pray that you will dispose of my health, my sickness, my life, and my death, as for Your glory, for my salvation, for the usefulness to Your church and Your saints, among whom I hope to be numbered. You alone know what is expedient for me. You are the Sovereign Master. Do whatever pleases You. Give me or take away from me. Conform my will to Yours, and grant that with a humble and perfect submission, and in holy confidence, I may dispose myself utterly to You. May I receive the orders of Your everlasting provident care. May I equally adore whatever proceeds from You."
-Blaise Pascal

Solitude

by Henri Nouwen

We enter into solitude first of all to meet our Lord and to be with him and him alone.
Our primary task in solitude, therefore, is not to pay attention to the many faces which assail us, but to keep the eyes of our mind and heart on him who is our divine savior.
Only in the context of grace can we face our sin;
only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds;
only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature.
As we come to realize that it is not we who live, but Christ who lives in us, that he is our true self, we can slowly let our compulsions melt away and begin to experience the freedom of the children of God.

A Meditation

by Henri Nouwen

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even dare to be silent with you.