Renew My Home: Take the Long View

Monday, May 5, 2014

Take the Long View

Speckled and spiny,
fat and crowded,
this aloe is not exactly beautiful.

It's interesting.

It's a live sculpture,
grown from a tiny sprout
that my Grandma gave to me.

It makes its home in a German pot
perched on a mirrored gear.

But what is this?
In my dining room,
sharing air with the aloe
and the driftwood cross
and my new tree-basket chandelier?

It's a beautiful mess.
You can see Julia's leather accessories here.

In the backyard, the meadow grass is brilliant green.
The trees have not yet leafed.
Malachi loves to stand at this window and gaze outside.

This week,
I'm trying to take the long view.
The days are spent restoring order,
picking up toys,
calming tantrums,
settling a restless little one down for a nap.
(I had amnesia as far as raising a toddler was concerned).

When I back away a bit from the myopia
of the dailyness
of it all,
I see the picture more clearly.

What a mess meets the eyes of my heart.
I feel small and helpless in the face of such sorrow.
I want to do something.

I've been awake since before 2:00 a.m.,
my mind flitting from thing to thing,
the way minds do.
Memories of our family day yesterday,
walking around the Island on Julia's campus.
Images of our latest house plan.
A beloved friend's face.
Children around the globe, misused and tormented.

Slowly, I gather my thoughts
into prayers.
I lay aside the flights of fancy
and begin to notice the burdens that I'm bearing.
I lay them before Jesus, one by one.

It is not a small thing
to bring before the One Who Sees
my faltering pleas
for mercy.


"If any of you feel, But how can we be happy while we are burdened by the sins and sorrows of the world? I say to you, 'O thou enemy, destructions are come to a perpetual end...But the Lord shall endure for ever...He shall judge the world in righteousness' (Ps. 9:6-8). The day when that word will be fulfilled is on its way, it is hastening. So in faith and certainty we rejoice, for sin and sorrow shall not endure forever; they have an end." (Amy Carmichael)

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Hush

"Can we say 'Hush' to ourselves? Can we command our thoughts? I believe we can. God has given us the power to close the shutter of our minds upon hurtful, weakening thoughts. He has provided all manner of shutters. A book that swings us off ourselves and into another world is a very good shutter; a song set to music; beauty; the dear love of those who love us. Above all, there is this: look at Calvary. Look steadfastly. Take time to look and all within you will be hushed, for power streams forth from Calvary. We need never know defeat." (Amy Carmichael)

A Prayer (Not by Joel Osteen)

"Take from me, Oh Lord, that self-pity which love of myself so readily produces, and from the frustration of not succeeding in the world as I would naturally desire, for these have no regard for your glory. Rather, create in me a sorrow that is conformable to Your own. Let my pains rather express the happy condition of my conversion and salvation. Let me no longer wish for health or life, but to spend it and end it for You, with You, and in You. I pray neither for health nor sickness, life nor death. Rather I pray that you will dispose of my health, my sickness, my life, and my death, as for Your glory, for my salvation, for the usefulness to Your church and Your saints, among whom I hope to be numbered. You alone know what is expedient for me. You are the Sovereign Master. Do whatever pleases You. Give me or take away from me. Conform my will to Yours, and grant that with a humble and perfect submission, and in holy confidence, I may dispose myself utterly to You. May I receive the orders of Your everlasting provident care. May I equally adore whatever proceeds from You."
-Blaise Pascal

Solitude

by Henri Nouwen

We enter into solitude first of all to meet our Lord and to be with him and him alone.
Our primary task in solitude, therefore, is not to pay attention to the many faces which assail us, but to keep the eyes of our mind and heart on him who is our divine savior.
Only in the context of grace can we face our sin;
only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds;
only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature.
As we come to realize that it is not we who live, but Christ who lives in us, that he is our true self, we can slowly let our compulsions melt away and begin to experience the freedom of the children of God.

A Meditation

by Henri Nouwen

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even dare to be silent with you.