I found another pouf.
Even more on sale than the first one.
Malachi thinks they are both just for him.
He backs up to his chosen pouf carefully, and perches comfortably on the edge.
Last night we drove up to The Land again, where Nate's brother and his wife are building a house.
We destroyed our recent car wash in the muddy driveway.
The drive there is beautiful, through winding country roads, but it takes so long that every time we go, my heart sinks a little. I want to arrive in eight minutes, not eighteen.
And yet once again, we are leaning towards building a new house on a grassy hill, with woods and ponds all around...
It would be a shared house with Nate's mom, with her part of it on the other side of the garage.
I got to thinking about my Dream House.
Before the recession, before a long period of unemployment in our family, before the children were grown, we thought a lot about dream houses. Everyone did. Imagining them was a luxury that all of us could partake in.
But I've decided that my dream house has little to do with square footage or bedrooms or views.
My dream house is where my dreams come true.
And it's in this house, this inconvenient, ordinary house, where my dreams have come true.
We've had some bad moments here, but mostly the moments have been good.
It's hard to leave a place that holds all the memories of my babies, my children, my maturing marriage.
It's hard to leave a place that has held so much love.
So why move?
~For one thing, we could have three bedrooms on one level, and Malachi could finally have his own room.
He does not want his own room. He likes sleeping in mama's bed. But mama thinks that a room for his stuff, at least, is a good idea.
~We'd have more space in the living room, for the times we're all together.
~Finally, a master bathroom. And a closet. It's been so good for me to have a tiny closet, it keeps me weeding out the stuff I don't wear or need. But it's a crowded mess no matter how much I toss out.
~We'd move for the peace and quiet, for the space, for the country life.
~I am so fed up with my overwhelming gardens, I'm ready to ditch them and start over. I am never caught up. It would be nice to have a simpler yard with more fruiting trees.
~And you guys, I have to admit: I would love decorating a new house. We'd have a strict budget, but still I imagine a bit of marble in the kitchen, soft natural wood tones, white cabinets and distressed-wood shelves, big windows and simple curtains drifting to the floor. Something like this fresh country kitchen.
And what has to happen first? Well for starters, my husband has to find work in the area. He doesn't want to drive two hours every day back and forth from the Cities. We would have to either rent or sell our house (I'd rather rent it. Then I can sneak into this yard and take perennials as needed).
And no matter where I live, if the ones I love are with me, it's going to be home.