Renew My Home: My Someday Funeral

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

My Someday Funeral

If you happen to know me and love me, do not panic.
I am hale and hearty. As I often tell my children, I plan on living to the age of ninety. Ninety is a good number. If I get there and things are going well, maybe I'll hang on a few more years.

Guess what? I don't get to decide. The Lord knows the number of our days.

Oh that is such solace!

But I'll tell you this: we have had too many funerals this year. At each one, I wondered: would the person have liked their own funeral? I know these ceremonies are for those who mourn.

And yet. The funeral should be a tribute, a lovely frame to show the beauty of a life.

I have warned my kids - if you don't sing hymns at my funeral, I will sit up in my casket and shake my fist at you.

Not to scare them or anything. I just feel very strongly about hymns.

So kids, here are the details. For one, because I doubt I'll be looking very pretty at ninety, it's closed casket. You heard it here. With just a few pictures of me - one or two as a child and young woman, one current. Oh thank Jesus that He knows exactly what "current" will be!

Not too many flowers. I love pink roses, but otherwise, I prefer fresh flowers from the garden (if anything is blooming).. I'd rather you donate any gifts to whatever missionaries I'm supporting at the time. If you aren't sure where to donate, Wycliffe Bible Translators is a good choice. Also, maybe set up a small fund to help Northwestern students pay off their parking violations. Not kidding. Those poor kids get slammed with too many fees.

Then, guys, I don't want a lot of talking or tributes or long sermons. Tell me now how much you love me. Tell me now what I've done right or wrong, and what needs forgiving, and what has been forgiven. Tell me now what you remember about the way I raised you to love God and His Word. And if I didn't do that enough, tell me that too. Remember that your Dad and I are raising your baby brother, we have a bit of a chance for a do-over.

So, short sermon it is.. By someone who knows me, so probably not an Open Door pastor, as much as I love the teaching there. Mike McCabe, if he outlives me. Or one of you, if you feel up to it.

I have a lot of favorite verses, but my life verse has always been Psalm 16:11, "Thou wilt show me the path of life, in Thy presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right hand are pleasures forevermore." Otherwise, pick whatever you like. Scripture abounds with words of life and victory.

And after the very short "talk," not too preachy, a hymn sing.

Yep, all hymns. For quite awhile, since I have so many favorites, so you'll need a good song leader. Amanda Ellison will probably still have the voice of an angel so she can do it. Or Falicia if she's not too famous by then. You know how I adore folk and bluegrass. So that vibe would be better than pointlessly loud. But - whatever you decide is fine. Basically this is my only chance to pick the worship songs at a service, something I've longed to do. And although right now I'd choose a few current songs, what I love best, deep in my soul, are the rich words and melodies of older hymns. The truth in them has been bedrock for me.

Here's a list off the top of my head. I might tweak it later.

How Firm a Foundation
Oh For a Thousand Tongues to Sing
How Great Thou Art
All Creatures of Our God and King
Come Thou Fount

If people are getting bored, you can call it a day.

Otherwise, you can continue with:

It Is Well with My Soul
Be Thou My Vision
Blessed Assurance

I'm sure I'll think of more later.

A hymn sing by a lake would be perfect.
A final hymn, family only, at the grave site would also be nice.

A few more details:
Bury me and Dad together
I used to like the idea of cremation, but now I'm not sure. Jesus wasn't cremated. So if funds allow, let me return to dust the old-fashioned way.

And finally, be sad, be as sad as you want to be. Jesus was sad when his friend died. We aren't made to die, although we are born to die. We are made to live. And I plan to live a long, long time yet, probably annoying you and blessing you and serving you and needing you, for as many years as God wills.

I love you all to pieces.
(But I'm serious about the hymns).

Mama

This is the song I've been singing most these days. The words are sound and true, the melody is fresh and lovely. C'mon and sing along with me!

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Hush

"Can we say 'Hush' to ourselves? Can we command our thoughts? I believe we can. God has given us the power to close the shutter of our minds upon hurtful, weakening thoughts. He has provided all manner of shutters. A book that swings us off ourselves and into another world is a very good shutter; a song set to music; beauty; the dear love of those who love us. Above all, there is this: look at Calvary. Look steadfastly. Take time to look and all within you will be hushed, for power streams forth from Calvary. We need never know defeat." (Amy Carmichael)

A Prayer (Not by Joel Osteen)

"Take from me, Oh Lord, that self-pity which love of myself so readily produces, and from the frustration of not succeeding in the world as I would naturally desire, for these have no regard for your glory. Rather, create in me a sorrow that is conformable to Your own. Let my pains rather express the happy condition of my conversion and salvation. Let me no longer wish for health or life, but to spend it and end it for You, with You, and in You. I pray neither for health nor sickness, life nor death. Rather I pray that you will dispose of my health, my sickness, my life, and my death, as for Your glory, for my salvation, for the usefulness to Your church and Your saints, among whom I hope to be numbered. You alone know what is expedient for me. You are the Sovereign Master. Do whatever pleases You. Give me or take away from me. Conform my will to Yours, and grant that with a humble and perfect submission, and in holy confidence, I may dispose myself utterly to You. May I receive the orders of Your everlasting provident care. May I equally adore whatever proceeds from You."
-Blaise Pascal

Solitude

by Henri Nouwen

We enter into solitude first of all to meet our Lord and to be with him and him alone.
Our primary task in solitude, therefore, is not to pay attention to the many faces which assail us, but to keep the eyes of our mind and heart on him who is our divine savior.
Only in the context of grace can we face our sin;
only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds;
only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature.
As we come to realize that it is not we who live, but Christ who lives in us, that he is our true self, we can slowly let our compulsions melt away and begin to experience the freedom of the children of God.

A Meditation

by Henri Nouwen

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even dare to be silent with you.